Eye of the Tiger (Mother)

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

by Amy Chua

I did this once, and I’m going to do it again. I want to tell you about a book that’s not for kids, but about them. As with Hungry Monkey, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a memoir from a parent.

Have you all heard of this book? It caused a bit of an uproar when it came out. For anyone interested in parenting styles and the ways people can and do raise their kids, I think this book is a must-read. Detailing her technique of Chinese parenting, Amy Chua made a lot of people mad when her book hit the shelves, mainly because she is sooooo strict with her kids. The bits and pieces of her parenting style I learned from early reviews were rough: constant music practice, no sleepovers, no grades lower than A’s. I was curious to read it, if only to find out how extreme Chua really was. I finally got around to putting it on my request list at the library, and when it arrived, I surprised myself by tearing through it in less than four days.

Summary

Amy Chua is the oldest daughter of Chinese immigrant parents. She was brought up “the Chinese way” which means that she and her sisters were held to the highest standards (and more) by her parents. Only perfection would do, and even then, they could probably do better. While it was a tough upbringing, Chua was grateful for it, and attributes much of her success (she’s a highly successful professor at Yale Law School, as well as the author of a few other books) to the values and strict standards she was raised with. So when she became a mother, Chua wanted to raise her girls in the same way. Her Jewish-American husband agreed to let her handle this aspect of their children’s upbringing, and so began her traditional Chinese parenting regime.

Battle Hymn revolves around Chua and her two daughters, Sophia and Lulu. From the beginning of their young lives, Chua lets her girls know she expects nothing less than 110 percent from them. They practice their instruments for two hours every day; they do not attend sleepovers; they do not participate in extracurricular activities; they do not earn any grade less than an A. The list goes on and on. Chua does not sugar-coat her story, and is completely honest about the difficulties she encountered, both with her children and other members of her family. She is opinionated and demanding, and has no problem playing the bad guy. What is surprising about her story are the realizations she slowly makes, and the questions she is forced to consider when her parenting standards begin to show no sign of affect on her youngest daughter.

Worth staying up past bedtime?

Rating: Good Night’s Sleep - Yes, I did plow through this book in four days, but it wasn’t one that I had to force myself to part with in order to turn out the light. It was a relatively quick read, but a fascinating one at that. Chua is an interesting person. I was alternately shocked by her firm and uncensored opinions and curious about the ideas behind such an extreme parenting style.

As my only experience in this area is on the daughter side of the mother-daughter relationship, I cannot say how I view this as a parent. But it made me consider some of the ways in which American parents allow their children to behave and the standards they do (or don’t) hold them to. Whether you think Chua’s methods sound insane or somewhat reasonable, this book provides great thinking points for anyone who has or works around youngsters.

Recommended for anyone who has/teaches/works with kids!